I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
we should paint friendship bongs
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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