One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize