the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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