i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
