At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
now i know why i became what i already was.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize
