I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
