so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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