I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
