There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
