Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
