Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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