Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
