Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
