can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
