you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
