Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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