We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
