can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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