i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Is Oprah even human
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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