We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
