Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
