I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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