Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
My feet surprised me
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