If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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