smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
