Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
