but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
