Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
