Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
