Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
