she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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