it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
