I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
