If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize