FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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