is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
