Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
