If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
