I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Randomize
