She's JV to your varsity
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
