Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
