woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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