open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
