is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
