fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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