When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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