my mouth tastes like poor choices
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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