I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
