Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
