ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
