evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
